What the heck is a Phoenix Mandorla?

So what the heck is a Phoenix Mandorla? Well, it’s quite a story so let’s see if we can unpack it a bit.

The History

The concept of Phoenix Mandorla was born after a car accident where a car drove through my massage clinic, leaving me severely injured and with a prognosis at the hospital of ‘we’ll know in the next 24 hours’.

At the time, we decided to keep how injured I was a secret because unfortunately, there wasn’t just me in the building and several other clinicians had businesses that needed to continue to function. My landlord stepped in and the legend that he is, had the shop repaired within 3 days. Meanwhile, I was managing the surreal experience of being poked and prodded by numerous specialists with discussions about whether or not to operate or place me into ICU.

The injuries I sustained in the accident were 6 broken ribs and lacerations to my kidney, spleen and liver. It was lifechanging for both myself and my client. If he hadn’t been there to pull the 60kg massage table off me and I had tried to do that, I would not be here telling the story today. He literally saved my life and left me with incredible guilt around not being able to keep a client safe in my clinic space – something that was critical to my business; the provision of safe space in which to heal. 

During my recovery, it became very clear that I would no longer be a remedial therapist and I would need to close my business. My work had always been my refuge and for me, to make that decision was more gut wrenching than the tremendous pain and dysfunction I had been left with. I told the clinicians renting space from me and started the slow process of packing the clinic up by myself.

Once the clinic was closed, I did what I could to secure a job in administration – my life prior to remedial massage. I secured a role as a Practice Manager with a new mental health company and started five months after the accident. Mentally OK but physically very far from healing.

I was blessed to work with a team that was flexible around my rehabilitation needs. With constant physiotherapy, occupational therapy, psychologist and pain specialist appointments. They supported me on my journey.

A month after I started my little sister died suddenly and unexpectedly. She was my best friend and my whole world went on kilter again. Mum and I had 3 days in hospital with her as they searched for suitable donors for her organs. We laughed, we cried, we planned her send off and supported her husband and 7 year old daughter on their journey through grief as we continued on ours.

Life started to return to a shaky ‘new normal’, learning a new job, healing, working through grief; then a lady ran a red light and T-boned my car, writing it off and leaving me with knee injuries and whiplash – along with nursing staff at the hospital who were incredulous as they had worked with me 9 months earlier.

What followed was more rehabilitation, operation on my knee and a body that was struggling to heal because of the trauma it had suffered. All through this though I had an unshakable belief that I would be OK. Yes, I had been challenged in the most extensive of ways, but my mind was clear, I was achieving rehabilitation goals and to me, every setback was temporary in my move forward to heal.

My journey over the next five years was… well interesting (as if it hadn’t been already!). The mental health company I worked for moved me into senior management and moved me into positions as the company ‘fixer’, yet went bankrupt after 18 months due to mismanagement leaving the large number of staff across the state out of pocket with superannuation and other entitlements unpaid. Yet another bump in the road of life to navigate.

My husband and I decided that I needed some time out and I took 6 months out from work to renovate our house before heading back into the workforce. I then took a project officer role with an indigenous health company which enabled me to work from home, with a trip to their head office once per month. Whilst I loved the work, the wheels of progress turned slowly and I craved being in an office with people again.

In the meantime, my marriage couldn’t handle the strain of all of the challenges it had been thrown in such a short period of time and my husband and I consciously uncoupled; with the goal of ‘children first’ in mind as we navigated the journey with as much grace as we could muster.

I applied for a role in projects with the local University in a contract that was way too short. I’d spoken to the manager, and she asked me to apply anyway as there were other roles that may be coming up. I ended up working with IT people; a diverse group of introverted and extroverted individuals – mostly men – and this has been the most healing and life affirming role I’ve held outside of my own business and I’m truly blessed to have had the opportunity. 

So bear with me as I walk through the last bit…. I know it’s all a bit …. well incredulous really….

Learning and Healing

I have learned so much over the last five years. I’ve made a conscious choice in my healthcare and healing. I’ve been blessed with many experiences at work which have been eye opening, heart wrenching, heart opening, and wholesomely healing.

My life hadn’t just changed, it has been taken, scrunched into a ball, slammed against a wall and smoothed out again. It has left crinkles that will never go away and tears that will not mend. But in a testament to my shear pigheadedness (some call it strength of will!) I would not be beaten. I would not give into the pain or the message that I would always be this way. I would not accept the status quo. Instead, with sense of humour intact (some would prefer that wasn’t the case 😉), I made the conscious decision to thrive.

I started to explore, under the guidance of my healthcare team, things I could do to get back into the personal service space. The space where I provide safe and sacred space for healing with my principle focus on chronic pain and PTSD (had a little personal knowledge of this). I had wanted to study Craniosacral Therapy for 12 years. I had tried and failed to get to courses – timing just wasn’t right – then COVID hit.

Not to be deterred by a global pandemic, I focussed on online learning in Biodynamic Craniosacral therapy and thus my journey began. After attending my first hands-on learning course, I was hooked, but wanted more than the content provided – being the nerd I am at heart. I swapped to Upledger course because it was heavily science based and had numerous research demonstrating effectiveness of treatments.

And now…. I’m super excited that I get to bring this to the world in my own unique way. Using a combination of skills I already had around intuitive therapy, combined with gentle hands on physical manipulation that my body can handle; I was back seeing clients at home and demonstrating time and again the power of gentle hands on healing for long term health and wellbeing.

Phoenix Mandorla - The Meaning



This finally brings me to the story of Phoenix Mandorla (thanks for sticking with me).

Throughout my life I have had the phoenix come up as my ‘totem’. It demonstrates that no matter what happens to me, I get back up and continue to thrive. I’m like the kids toy punching clown that won’t stay down when they throw themselves at it. Thought a phoenix was definitely a better symbol than the clown 😊.

The phoenix sits within the intersection of 2 circles – a ven diagram for you fellow nerds. The circles are called a Mandorla or Vesica Piscis. It is often used in a religious or spiritual construct. For me it has the following meaning:

• The left-hand circle represents the past and everything we have experienced physically, emotionally and spiritually. It’s a place our minds often reside by bringing up past memories and dwelling on them. It is a place we draw from that shapes our current experience giving us knowledge to protect ourselves. At its worst it can stop us moving forward or learning new and wonderful things because we are stuck in assuming everything that has happened to us will always be the case.
• The right-hand circle represents the future that is filled with possibilities and wonder. At its best it is something to plan and strive for; yet at its worst it can be overwhelming and create debilitating anxiety as we push with fear towards an outcome that is uncertain. We lose our curiosity in developing ourselves and instead find ourselves caught in a loop between past and future – not being able to change anything for better or for worse.
• Then we have the intersection in the middle. I’m sure you’ve all heard of staying ‘in the here and now’, and so it represents the present. The place we can act to both work through the lessons we learned from our past journey and prepare for our future through the steps we take in our present. The phoenix in this position represents ‘from the ashes I rise’ the resilience that we need to focus on the present and transform.

Surrounding the Mandorla is a colour cloud. This is a representation that life can be experienced in full and brilliant technicolour if we choose to allow it. By experiencing life this way, we truly get to live every day; not just go through the motions of existing.

With the bumps in the road that I’ve experienced over the last five years, I’ve made a conscious decision to inject brilliance and technicolour radiance into everything I do (a bit much for the IT guys to be honest LOL). I’m choosing to do this, despite having chronic pain and PTSD. I’m choosing to fight to accept my ‘new normal’ and in doing so I’m in the perfect position to help others on their journey.

When you come to see me, you won’t hear my story unless you ask me a specific question. But my story has led me to believe that we all have the capacity to create healing in our lives where we can reach our full health potential. Notice I don’t say full healing…. that is intentional. Our health potential gives us quality of life back, through accepting where we are on our journey. Instead of fighting the status quo, we move through acceptance and embrace curiosity about what we can achieve physically, emotionally and spiritually to make our journey as positive and colourful as it can be.

I look forward to joining you on your journey, as you join me on mine. One full of exciting possibilities and curiosity as we drop the façade of having to ‘heal’ but instead embrace the possibility of health potential. Come and be curious with me….



Cheers to health and healing xo.